Close your eyes and take one deep breath.
Imagine that you’ve decided to go camping. You’ve set up at a small campsite with a few other campers around, & it is a beautiful evening.
You notice the sun setting in the distance. You hear the birds chirping, preparing to settle into their nests for the night.
As darkness falls and you feel a cool breeze in the air, you decide to light a fire.
You walk around the forest, gathering twigs and branches for your fire. As you return to your campsite, you intricately stack them among the logs & kindling in the beautiful rock-bordered fire pit.
You stand to admire your work, then draw a matchbox from your pocket. You choose a matchstick and strike it once. A flame bursts into life at the end of your matchstick. You admire its natural ease. Carefully, you hold the match to a piece of kindling & smile as you see it ignite. The flames lick the twigs and logs you’ve arranged so carefully.
Suddenly, you are pushed sideways you fall onto the dirt. You look up to see another camper smothered your flame with a fire blanket.
“Excuse me! What did you do that for?” you say.
The camper replies: “I did it to protect you. You could burn yourself! You could burn down the whole forest. It isn’t safe. & no offense, but are you capable of making a fire? Even if you tried, your fire would probably be a failure.”
Notice how do you feel in this moment. Annoyed, Confused, Disappointed, Angry?
As you sit on the ground, trying to figure out what just happened, the camper turns around & walks away.
You decide to brush it off, ignore them, and rekindle your fire. You slowly pull the fire blanket away and light another match. This time, the flames get a little higher.
But before you know it, the fire blanket gets thrown over the fire again – this time by another camper.
“No,” they say, “It’s not a good time to make a fire. Besides, you don’t want to make a fire. You need to pitch your tent, and make your dinner, and rake the leaves around your campsite so it looks neat.”
You tell him that you need the light of the fire to pitch your tent and its heat to cook your food. And surely raking up the leaves can wait!
They walk away, & your annoyance builds. You once more pull the fire blanket away.
Again, you stoke you fire… And again, that fire blanket comes flying over from behind – smothering the flames.
Yet another camper speaks up: “You don’t need a fire,” they say, “It’s a lovely evening – just put on a sweater if you’re cold. And you don’t need to warm up your baked beans – just eat ’em cold! Look, you don’t know about these things – just listen to us experienced campers – we know better.”
As the third camper retreats, you start lifting the fire blanket again. But by now it’s hot. & it feels heavy. It’s then that yet another camper chimes in: “You’ll never have the time to stoke this fire. Plus, firewood is expensive – you don’t have the money to maintain this thing.”
As you imaging staring at you half covered, smoldering fire: How do you feel? Deflated? In despair? Angry?
You start explaining that you wanted to make this fire & invite everyone else to gather around; to enjoy it, too.
But someone shouts: “You actually want people to come & join you around this fire? They’re not going to come. No one will like your fire. People will think you’re going to burn them – they won’t trust you.”
Exhausted, you sit down next to your now-extinguished fire – covered by this dark fire blanket. You try pulling it off, but it’s stuck. You pull some more – but it just won’t budge. And now that it’s dark, you can’t see why…
All the campers start wandering off, back to their campsites. You sit there alone, confused and scared. A tear runs down your cheek.
That’s when a voice from behind you says: “Want some help? I’ve got a flashlight.”
“Yes – I need help!”
The person with the flashlight walks around the fire blanket with you, shining a light on its edges. You see it’s stuck under a rock at one corner, caught in a branch elsewhere, & in another spot someone has hammered a tent peg into it.
Each time you see one of these things, you fix it, until finally – you pull the fire blanket – and it moves! You grab it with both hands and rip it off your fire. You throw that fire blanket into the nearest trashcan with assertion.
You turn back to the rock-lined fire pit, & smile as your helper is still shining a flashlight for you – so that you can rebuild your fire. You feel supported, equipped, empowered. You feel safe – even as you light another match, add logs to the fire, and feel it getting hotter.
You watch as the flames erupt & grow bigger and bigger..
You take a moment to feel the fire’s warmth on your skin.
You look around you and see the beautiful forest in the light of the fire.
& then you see a group of people coming your way. Your heart sinks…
Are they coming with another fire blanket?
But as they near, all you see are the smiles on their faces. They haven’t come to put another fire blanket on your fire – they’ve come to join you around your fire.
They need the warmth and the light and the energy of your fire.
You sit back and admire the beauty & power of the flames.
You listen to the cracking of the logs as they release the energy that’s within them.
You stand a little taller, with confidence as you know your fire is now too big for a fire blanket to smother – & even if someone tried, you’d know how to throw it off & reignite your flame.
Imagine this fire in your mind. Notice its power, its energy, its beauty, & warmth.
Feel the heat it radiates. See the light that shines. Look around & see the people gathered by your fire.
This is life, this is expansiveness, this is your authentic success.
This is your fire.
Explanation
In “The Fire Blanket” visualization, the fire represents a dream that you’ve had on your heart for years. It is your authentic voice, your version of “success”.
Up until now, there have been many “fire blankets” thrown onto your fire – sometimes with the best of intentions:
- Remember what the first camper said as they threw the fire blanket on your fire? “To protect you.” Have you been discouraged from pursuing your dreams, because others have advised you to choose the “safe” path? Have you done this to yourself?
- Or perhaps your fire blanket has come in the form of trying to check all the boxes & achieve “objective success” (a perfect home, raked leaves…) – but even when you achieve these things, you’re left feeling empty.
- Or remember the third camper, who told you you don’t need a fire, that you should be satisfied with a sweater & cold baked beans?! Is your fire blanket a belief that “life is good enough,” or that you shouldn’t want anything more?
- Or, is your fire blanket related to a feeling of scarcity in time & money? Have you been told that you’ll never have the time to pursue your dreams? Or that going down your aligned & authentic path would be a waste of money, or an unnecessary financial risk?
- And then there was that final camper who told you people would never gather around your fire – they wouldn’t like you; they wouldn’t trust you. Are you being held back from your authentic, abundant life because you’re worried others won’t approve, or that no one will like you?
These are just some of the blocks that can creep up when you’re trying to make a change – a change that would be the catalyst to living a more full, aligned, & authentic life.
And just like in the visualization, when you were trying to pull the fire blanket off, but it was stuck with rocks & branches & tent pegs - these kinds of blocks are difficult to see, & difficult to deal with on your own.
This is where coaching can be so effective.
As a coach, I walk beside you & shine a light on areas of your life in which you feel stuck. I then work with you so you can get unstuck.
Rather than doing the work for you, I’ll be by your side with my flashlight the whole time. And as you release each of these mindset blocks, you’ll feel empowered & capable to pull off the fire blanket that’s been smothering your fire: that is your authentic voice, your dreams, your true version of success.
You’ll be able to build the fire that’s burning inside of you, & bring your light, your warmth, & your energy to the world in a way that is completely aligned with who you are.
If you enjoyed this exercise and would like to integrate these types of concepts and practices in your life, Yes& has recently launched a group program called the Yes& Experience. Each month, we focus on one concept and you get exercises delivered directly to your email, and have the opportunity to join group coaching calls and dive even deeper, together.
Prices will rise soon as we are growing, so be sure to check it out now and take advantage of our Founder’s rates starting at just $19 per month.
