{Video Length: 32 minutes & 33 seconds}
Transcription Below, edited slightly for clarity
Today is a new workshop that I'm hosting in celebration of Yes&’s second birthday, which is wild!
So, a little background: I am an alignment coach, if you don't know who I am. I help individuals align with their most authentic, true business - which means career if you're not in that entrepreneurial space that many of my clients are, as well as your lifestyle and your relationships. Relationships come up almost every time with my clients; it tends to be our fast, quick ticket way to get to whatever it is that is on the surface, feeling dissonant or misaligned.
I absolutely love what I do, and over the two years that I've been in business so far, I've learned so many things! And last year, on the one-year anniversary of Yes&, I hosted a virtual retreat which was so much fun. This year, when I was thinking about how to celebrate, I thought… ‘you know what, I'm going to kick off a weekly video series.’
And so, to kind of step up the game and how I can show up for you and especially for providing more free content, I am launching a “Weekly Spark,” which, many of you have heard that name before if you've been on my email newsletter, Weekly Spark used to be my blog, and I'm now writing a book!
So, to be honest, my writing endurance has gone down a little bit, or rather, it's focused on writing my book right now which is coming out next year. And furthermore, I absolutely love speaking! I've gotten so much positive feedback from those of you who have attended my speaking events. And so, I thought what better way to talk about alignment and to support you in a free, really accessible way and speak every single week.
So here we are, we're kicking off something that's going to happen every single week moving forward.
Today we are talking about your foundation to success.
What is your foundation to success? I'll tell you in a moment, and how you can get there and also, what are some roadblocks that we can already anticipate that are going to come up? Those doubts and and those fears and what we can do to address them.
One more thing: if you want to follow along with this workshop, whether you're watching live or the replay, subscribe below to receive the five step guide that I'm going to walk through today, and also to receive the replay for this video, in case you want to go back and watch it again.
All right, so let's get started!
Your foundation to success is… surprise surprise… it's you!
You are your foundation to success. And I really think this is one of the biggest differentiators in how I approach coaching and how I approach development. And really, I host a time management workshop, a financial alignment workshop, goal setting workshop, the foundation retreat last year was all about setting goals for the year.
Moving forward, and how I coach my one-on-one clients, whether we're talking about relationships, or their business, careers, lifestyle, health habits… the unique approach that I take and what I think is so valuable and life changing is to start and end all the way through with you.
What are your values?
What are your desires?
What do you care about?
What are your interests?
What is your skill set?
It’s all the personal development work that I love.
I feel like a lot of the time we don't have that part of the dialogue; we don't have that part of the discussion. It's always leaning on an expert; it's always looking to what has someone else done.
What does the research say?
What did my parents do?
What are my friends doing?
What does my coach tell me to do?
What is the advice or the mentorship that I'm receiving?
Although this is very valuable and I also I read many personal development books - I love my podcasts, I love watching YouTube videos to learn more about tactics and strategies and mindset shifts and practices that have worked for other people. And, I've seen so many clients come to my door feeling overwhelmed and feeling scattered and I think what's going on isn't that.
In fact, I just had a client share her testimonial - she was saying that she does a lot of personal development work, reads a lot of self-help books, a lot of programs and courses. And what happens is that it's almost information overload. There's so much to take in. There are so many different forms of advice, there are so many different directions you can go. Whether you're talking about time, whether you're talking about your business, whether you're talking about lifestyle, healthy habits...
I was just talking to a client yesterday who's in my group program, a group experience, and she is trained to be a personal trainer. She has trained and she's starting this business, and there's so much advice in different techniques and not only the study itself, of how many different approaches there are to personal training, but also that it's always evolving and every field is always evolving.
And so, we can get to this place if we're always looking outside of ourselves for the external advice, the external mentorship, the external guidelines, and rulebook to follow. It can get it can get overwhelming. It's no wonder that we feel a little bit scattered or that we feel a little bit lost in the midst of all of this noise.
What I help my clients to do, and what I'm going to help you do today, is walk through a process of finding your foundation - your solid base, so that you can still take in all the external information. Again, it's really valuable to turn to the experts, to turn to what other people have done, that is really successful, to think about different strategies that other people have participated in or have taken on and have been really great at whatever focus area you're focused on at the moment. And you need that place to come back to so that it doesn't feel scattered and overwhelming - so that it feels good for you! So that you have something, a measuring stick, a check-in point to say:
Is this working for me?
Is this the result that I wanted?
Is this the life that I was striving for in the first place?
Is this the outcome I anticipated it would be?
And is this the way that I want to do it?
So, there are so many strategies and so many different approaches to all these different aspects of life, that it's ultimately yes… what works and maybe some research, guidelines, and a basis but ultimately, what do you prefer? What do you want? What gets you to your goals, and what aligns with your values as you do so?
So today, we're going to be covering the five steps to find your authentic voice, which is your foundation for success.
And we're going to cover eight questions that will align with these five steps.
I'm going to tell you a little bit more about how I define my authentic voice, what my foundation for success is, and how that has led to a business to a relationship, to my lifestyle that feels incredible for me. And then I'm going to also include a little bit of a proactive approach, for when any gremlins or roadblocks come up for you. Because we can already anticipate that! You'll already have some tools in your back pocket that you can pull out and use to maintain strengthening and pursuing your foundation to success, your authentic voice, rather than feel overwhelmed and totally off track or thrown off when those come up.
So, let's start with the first step.
The first step is to define your voice,
and throughout this process you'll hear in the sheet that you download from the form above (or from yesandbymarin.com/success), you'll see that I talk about your voice.
When I say your voice, what I mean is that fire within you, that part of you that's like if you think of the angel and devil on your shoulders, it's the angel. It's the one that's like “These are your dreams, this is what you value, this is what we care about.” And it's the one that, when you listen to it, things just have a way of working out. Sometimes maybe it's scary to listen to that voice, maybe it's saying something that's way off your norm, maybe it's pushing you to step out of your comfort zone, and ultimately that voice, you learned on some level, is the one that is guiding you toward the greatest good - toward what most aligns with your best life, with what really feels good for you.
And so, the first step to all of this is to define what that voice is. And in a sense, we can define authenticity and it's a buzzword these days. There are many ways to talk about authenticity, but when I think of authenticity and finding a way to really simplify it, it's that voice - it's speaking directly to that part of you. And you can call this intuition as well, you can call this God, you can call this the universe, whatever it is that feels like it's that center point. That voice is the one that guides you most accurately.
And it sounds different, and it is different for every individual, but I think because I've heard so many of my clients and my group program participants say this, that everyone has this voice, whether or not you listen to it you know you know what it is.
So step one is to define it, and two questions to ask in accordance with this step are:
Who or what is your voice? A very broad, vague question to start us off; again, because everyone defines it a little bit differently, and then…
Is your voice connected to something beyond yourself? So again, I said maybe you actually call this voice God or Intuition or Universe or Higher Power or my Highest Self - maybe even that feels like it's a higher power for you or something beyond yourself - something greater than yourself. You could also think of this voice as your future self sometimes. That's a great way to step out of the present day, what's right in front of you. The details of this world that can sometimes make things confusing and think ‘okay, my future self. What would she say? What does she sound like? Is she that voice that can help guide me to my greatest good? And thus your, foundation for success.
The second step is to listen to that voice.
Wow. Mind blowing!
Listen to the voice that you just defined. And we can start small! I give the example of months ago now, or maybe, years ago, when I was first starting to really strengthen this muscle of: I want to listen to my highest self, my greatest self. I want to start hearing her more and trusting her more. And what I did is, on my walks I would typically walk or run the same exact route because I like my routine, my structure. And I started just inviting that voice to that very easy activity, and just follow it. And so, I would be walking down the street (and I do this to this day) I see a house down the street that I think looks really beautiful or some landscape, or I see a dog walking down the street. And so, I'll turn I'll change routes and go a different direction, simply because part of me, that higher self part of me, that intuitive, free flowing, greater-than-myself part of me, told me to go this other direction.
And so, we can start in a really small way to listen to your voice in just taking little shifts that again are telling your voice essentially, I trust you. I'm here to listen to you, and I will follow you. Just show me the way. And then, acting in accordance, you'll see at the end of these five steps - action is a big part of this as well, but first to listen to that voice to listen to it, hear what it sounds like once you start doing these little activities these pretty low risk activities to listen to your voice, you'll start to pick up what this voice sounds like. Maybe you have a caricature that you build of what this voice, or who this voice, is. Maybe what she looks like, the type of feeling that's usually behind her words, the type of activities that she or he usually guides you to…
The third step is to trust this voice.
So, it's similar to those activities when you're taking micro-opportunities to listen to your voice, to hear listen to your voice, then to start building that trust, and trust it more and more.
And so, the two accompanying questions here are:
When was the last time you trusted your voice, and what was the outcome?
And then what happens when you do not trust your voice?
And so, this step is really to start reflecting on what happens when I trust my voice when I do something as little as turning to a new block? Or, last night, I went out for ice cream which I hadn't done in a really long time. And I also yesterday went to an estate sale that I just happened to walk by and I thought, there's really no reason for me to go here but part of me just wants to go here and so I'm going to do it.
And as I was reflecting at the end of the day, essentially doing those reflective questions of trusting my voice, I thought I felt so alive yesterday, and I felt like I was just experiencing my life, the life that was meant for me and it felt good.
And so that was a really great big takeaway from two really small events that I did yesterday that was just about listening to my voice and trusting it and acting in alignment in little tiny ways. And furthermore, think of those times when you didn't trust your voice, when you didn't trust yourself, and what happened.
I can think of an example: I talk a lot about my transition from a PhD to my master's degree. So, I left a Ph. D program because it was misaligned. However, for many instances leading up to the moment where I actually left that program, I had these little knocks on the door, I had these little insights, my voice speaking to me saying: “Hey this is misaligned. Hey, this isn't working, Hey, you're really stressed. Hey, you could do this other thing, you might enjoy this other thing more,” and I listened to it but I wasn't trusting it. I wasn't acting in alignment with it. And what happened is that eventually I reached total breaking point. One of my mentors, Toby Kozlowski calls the two-by-four. Like there were all these little knocks that were just… knocking and gently letting me know: hey this is happening. Hey, you should maybe listen. And then there was the two-by-four of like, you’ve got to listen. You’ve got to step out of this PhD program because it is very misaligned.
And so, I noticed and took away from that experience: when I don't listen to my voice, when I don't listen to those knocks, I'm going to get slammed by a two by four! It's not a matter of: Is this going to happen or not, is this the right thing or not? It's a matter of: When will I choose to listen, when it's those little gentle knocks? Or am I going to wait until the two-by-four, or something really disrupts my life, or just like really puts a neon sign in front of my face that guides me and not to say that that's wrong, necessarily?
Sometimes we really need to build up that reassurance before taking a leap and listening to our voice. However, just something to reflect about: when you don't listen to your voice, what happens? And when you do listen to your voice, how does that feel a little bit different?
Fourth step is to nurture your voice.
So, the two questions in accordance with this step is:
What fear commonly speaks over or smothers your voice. And then,
What are your go-to activities to tune into your voice? So, this is the stuff I was talking about earlier, those tools you can have in your back pocket when any doubts or fears, come up for you.
So, think about, do you already know a fear or worry or something that you're concerned about or you even value that often steps in and smothers this voice from you, hearing it or trusting it or acting in alignment? What often comes up and kind of derails listening to that voice and trusting it?
For me, a big one (historically speaking) that's come up and still does to this day – is safety. Safety tends to be the fear that comes up. And safety isn't a bad thing, right? Safety is a very good thing to be aware of. However, in my experience with safety, it is so powerful and so concerning that, for instance, when I was thinking of starting Yes&, back when I was just entertaining the thought of opening this coaching business and coaching full time, I was very afraid of the safety. Of, specifically financial support, but also the safety of the alternative, safer path, the traditional career route that I could have taken. The PhD even felt safer in the sense that it was outlined for me. I knew what the next seven years would entail.
And so it felt safe in that safety voice, therefore was really powerful, and really strong, and prevented me from doing that sooner. Again, not necessarily a bad thing. However, now that I know to look out for safety. I can hear when safety starts to creep in. And yes, I'll listen and consider it, just like I would with any other voice or external noise coming into the picture, however, now I recognize that safety tends to take over and drive the bus. It will drive us to a course that doesn't feel good and doesn't feel aligned with our greatest biggest selves. I'm going to listen but then immediately, do something to help set aside or settle down this safety part of me, then I turn back to my authentic voice this higher self - the universe - for ultimate guidance and ultimate decision making.
Furthermore, that second question - your go-to activities to tune into your voice, can look different for every individual this morning. In fact, I drove to the dog park, which I do every morning, and I played John Mayer… I don't know if this is odd… it always brings me back to my voice, that always brings me back to my greatest good and my most authentic self, no matter what!
It's my go-to, and I was so excited by the end of my time at the dog park driving back to the apartment and getting ready for this event, celebrating the two-year anniversary of Yes&, I was just dancing! I was having a great time! I was so excited to talk to you guys today, to record this video and share these insights with you. And all of that feels so aligned with my authentic self. And it started with John Mayer - turning on your favorite music!
So maybe that's something that helps you tune into that authentic part of you. Maybe it's journaling, maybe it's meditating, maybe it's talking to a friend, maybe it's saying something out loud just to hear how it sounds. Maybe it's recording yourself into your phone - we have those voice apps that are really helpful when it comes to just needing to get things out there.
So, there are a lot of different ways to tune in to your authentic voice. If it feels really challenging, that's when you might want to seek external support. But again, specifically external support that's going to help you hear your voice - not turn into a course that will give you the answer, not turning to another degree, or a different career.
Those things aren't helping you find your voice - your foundation to success. Those are different avenues to success, but your foundation, the thing that you can come back to, that you can rely on forever. The unshakable part of you is your voice, and that is a very specific skill set for someone to help you find that.
That’s what I specialize in, is helping my clients hear their own voice. A lot of my coaching is reflecting back what they said, sometimes verbatim, and saying “How did that sound?”
The insights that come from that activity alone are incredible! Furthermore, I'm asking questions not to guide them to a certain place that I have in mind, but to help them dig into and dig under the story that they're telling, the beliefs that they might not see, the values that they hold for themselves, the truth, the fears - the desire and the dream that they have within themselves.
That's what this type of coaching is all about, and that's the type of support that I would advise you to go to. If you want to find your voice, however, notice I just said advice. Ultimately also, tune in to you and say, “What support do I need to help make this a reality, to help this become a practice for me?”
Maybe it's meditating every day, maybe it's some of these other options that I shared of how to find your voice. But, if you are seeking support, seek support that's specific to helping you find your voice rather than mentorship or an advisor, which is a different game.
Last step! For the fifth step, act in alignment.
All along we have been taking little actions. Of course, and this last step, acting in alignment is really building up that courage and the bravery and flexing the muscle that we've been training all along to take those big leaps - and sometimes it is a big leap!
I always use one of my clients [as an example] because I love her, and her big leap is to move Norway, and that is what she is planning to do! It's such an incredible big leap and it's so aligned with who she is and what she desires, it just was crystal clear. It's a big leap to move from Minnesota, USA to Norway, and I love that example.
However, it might not always be a big leap to act in alignment. Maybe it's speaking your truth!
Another personal example: years ago, when I first started dating who is currently sitting in the other room right now, I was really afraid to voice that I really liked him and I wanted a relationship with him, and I needed to work with my coach to build up that courage because I already knew that the voice, the guidance, the insight that I had within me was already there and already clear. Then it was just a matter of: I need to act in alignment by saying something, by progressing this relationship, where I feel called to progress it. However, it took it took the first few steps to nurture it, to trust it, to then take that big leap. And the big leap was sending a message - sending one message!
So again, it could be moving to Norway, or it could be writing out a few words in a message. But, all of it can feel the same type of like - oh man, you're about to drop on a roller coaster, you're about to step into something big. And it's so aligned with you that you know that it's right, even if it's really scary.
The question I have in accordance with that last step to act in alignment is:
How will act in alignment with your voice in this moment?
How will you do it right now?
Maybe it's turning off this video and going to do something that you’ve wanted to do all morning. Maybe it's replaying this video or pulling up the PDF from yesandbymarin.com/success that you can have, walking through these steps for yourself, and really writing out the answers to these questions so that it feels like it's really landed on your heart and soul. Maybe it's telling someone something big or small that has been on your mind and you just want to voice.
There’s something in this moment that you can do to act in alignment, and what a great way to embody the practice that you just learned about to go through these steps in a really quick way to define what your voice is so that you can then listen to it to trust that voice and nurture it by acting in alignment right now. And then I asked: What will you do to act in alignment in the next hour, and the next month?
So, as with all of my workshops and within group program, or my one on one clients - it's not just about this time that we have right now, it's not just about learning something and thinking it's a cool thought and hearing the perspective -though, that is valuable in and of itself. It is also looking forward and ensuring that all of this plays out in the real world, in your real life.
So it's, yes: nurturing your voice, hearing it, trusting it - but then it's acting, not only now, but next week, next month, and next year. And so, how can you help yourself stay accountable to hearing your voice, to continuously building that trust, to flexing that muscle, to training that muscle, and nurturing it so that you can act in alignment, more and more consistently, and thus building your success, whatever your success is?
Those are the five steps! Again:
1. We have to find your voice,
2. Listen to your voice,
3. Trust your voice,
4. Nurture your voice, and
5. Act in alignment.
And all of this is, of course, coming into your voice, and by your voice I mean your foundation to success -your authenticity, that wisdom and intuition within yourself that you already have. Maybe it takes a few questions. Maybe it takes some time and some space to hear it. Maybe it takes some courage or a support system. But it's already within you! You have your foundation.
And once this is set, you can take in all the external data. You can take in all the wisdom from your friends, all of the examples that you see all the marketing strategies, or whatever is feeling overwhelming, and have a place to come home to and come back to and say: What feels good for me? What helps me get to my version of success what aligns with my values? And then, act accordingly.
I am so glad that you joined me today if you're joining the replay I'm so glad that you watched the replay. And I really really hope that each and every one of you works through these questions in your own time. Today was a really quick version of a workshop that I have done in the past that's two hours long about really breaking each of these steps down.
I invite you to take that PDF and take some time for yourself! Reserve some space this evening or this week to work through each of these questions to define your voice, to hear what it sounds like, to put a name to it - to get to know your voice like you're going on a first date or maybe you're going on a date after taking a break for a while - and then to create a plan for yourself to act accordingly. To trust it, nurture it, and then take those courageous big actions so that your life becomes what you know you are capable of. So that your life becomes what feels so incredible for you, rather than fine, rather than good enough. Which sometimes, good enough is good enough. And if you're feeling that itch within yourself, if you're feeling that dissonance that something is off or I want something else out there - tune into that voice, trust it, find a way to support it and nurture it. Because once you start acting in alignment, your success is inevitable. It really really is, I believe it! I know part of you believes it!
Tune into that part and build that courage. Yesterday I was on a call with a client, and she found that part of herself that part that says you are capable, it is possible for you by look at a pair of cam boots, if you have had a coaching session with me in the past, you'll understand what I mean by that. We often use objects to get out of our head. So find whatever it is for you that will help you to build this practice, and to trust that voice that you have within yourself so that you can step forward and you can experience success because it's there, it's right there for your taking alright if you have any questions, I encourage you again. Yes and biomarin.com slash success to download that PDF and in doing so you'll have access to my email. So then just reply to that email that you get sent that the PDF is sent via. And I can answer any questions that you have. In response to today's little mini workshop, again this was a big amazing celebration of yes and two-year anniversary.
If you enjoyed this exercise and would like to integrate these types of concepts and practices in your life, Yes& has recently launched a group program called the Yes& Experience. Each month, we focus on one concept and you get exercises delivered directly to your email, and have the opportunity to join group coaching calls and dive even deeper, together.
Prices will rise soon as we are growing, so be sure to check it out now and take advantage of our Founder’s rates starting at just $19 per month.
Until then, you know where to find me on Instagram on YouTube. These videos will be happening every Tuesday now, so look forward to those and get on my mailing list so that you can receive replays, and also receive the PDFs that accompany each little mini workshop.
All right, I hope you have a wonderful day, and we will chat again soon!
