Video length: 22 minutes & 21 seconds
Transcription below, edited slightly for clarity
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Join me as I speak to Andy, a former client, and we discuss the in’s & out’s of his coaching experience - & how this has led him to his most authentic version of life.
Marin
We'll get started by going all the way back, if you can remember, before we began coaching. Can you paint a picture of what life was like & how that brought you to Yes&?
Andy
I was very distracted because what I wanted to do was educating more than one person at a time through workshops, & through articles & online courses & lots of different things that I had kind of developed a knack for. I was just so busy with so many different things that I wanted to get rid of something & frankly, the thing that I really wanted to get rid of was the clinic. So that progression had started when we when we first met. & so, then when I went to your event, & when I first had a conversation with you, it became more apparent what I wanted. I mean, I had a pretty good idea anyways but being able to bounce that off, somebody was really helpful for clarity there.
Marin
So, I hear you saying from that place of feeling distracted & feeling like there's just too much going on & wanting to get rid of something you already had an idea of what you probably wanted to get rid of.
Andy
I think so. Although maybe that's just with the benefit of hindsight, because I think at that time, I probably would have instinctively tried to hold on to the clinic. If I had been slightly more dishonest with myself, when initially communicating with you, it probably would have been a lot about how we wanted to master all the systems of business in the clinic or whatever. But I knew pretty quickly that I didn't want that at all.
Marin
Yeah, it was so exciting that our very first coaching call, you had already shut it down, you had already closed the clinic, which was such a testament to when we take the step to do something like invest in coaching or whatever it is this representative of I'm setting an intention to do something, to change something about my current reality, the changes can happen really quickly, before we even started coaching. Going back a second to you said your inkling probably would have been to hold on to the clinic. Why was that the case? What were the stories going on in your head?
Andy
Well, I was identifying myself as a chiropractor who worked one on one with people in this place. & you know, I had all of the image that I had worked out over the last three, four years. & it was good for what it was, but it was not going anywhere.
Marin
I hear one of the main roadblocks that prevented you from doing that before us working together or you deciding to work with me, was that identity piece. That was your identity & what you had been doing for so long & so it just the weight of that was enough.
Andy
Right & it was the it was like the natural progression of like, okay, I finished chiropractic school, I started my own business, it starts out really tiny. It's in a closet & it moves into a slightly bigger room. & then it's slightly more busy. But there's always this ceiling, I think, that probably a lot of people hit.
Marin
& this is so all of us, myself included, we go through the natural progression of things & it just kind of snowballs until we're like, “This isn't what I wanted”. Did you have a moment where that was the case?
Andy
No, it was a period of time. Divorce was happening at the same time, pandemic was happening. There were a lot of things that were happening at the same time. Strangely, I feel like I could have easily wallowed & been like, these things are happening to me. But I was I was lucky enough at that time to have support, & then have met people that I could talk to & things like that. & then you know, therapy & everything like that. But yeah, I don't identify necessarily like a light bulb moment. It just felt so natural when I took the actions to close it & everything was just made sense. So obviously I’d done something.
Marin
Yes, yeah. & you spoke to just how much was going on in your life & in the world all at the same time. So, when that was all happening, what made coaching stand out as something that made the cut for one of the support systems that you are going to choose to invest in when so much was changing?
Andy
Right? Well, I knew I needed support of a certain type. I wanted to make a transition, not just into unemployment, like I wanted to make a transition & into an area where I was unfamiliar & needed more accountability. I knew from my time in clinic that there were things I didn't like to do but still have to do. I did them, I didn't like them & it was it was a thing. & then there are also some things that I didn't like to do & I didn't do. My point being is there's a lot of things that can be skipped & still be very irresponsible, just be financially irresponsible. Those happen & I didn't want a repeat of that. & more importantly wanted an accountability partner who would kind of keep me on track that through this process, you could do a million different things every single day & still never get closer to the actual end goal when you're talking about this entrepreneurial style of work that I want wanted to get into.
So, I definitely wanted guidance, & then the ability to make things pretty concrete, & then the ability to have skills to meet those goals. That was not something that I think therapy would have accomplished. I think that one on one coaching would have probably been, I mean, that was the natural progression I had been in - masterminds & you know, got some stuff done & it was pretty cool. & I had been in really cool, very interactive online courses that again, met some needs, but not all of the needs. So, it was one of those things where, okay, well this is naturally what's going to happen now, because it's just what happens next. For help, you search for more help.
Marin
Tell me then, when you were thinking about coaching, it was the natural progression, you wanted more help, you wanted that accountability partner, as you're making this change, navigating lots of change. Tell me what surprised you about coaching. What exceeded your expectations? What was different, especially again, putting yourself in the mind of someone who is at the forefront & considering something like coaching?
Andy
Right? Yeah, you know, I liked that it was very clearly a partnership that was guided by me, that was something that was very clear, right off the bat. There was no advice, it was a lot of reflection. & so, it was like I learned very quickly what my responsibility was. & you know, strangely, initially, my responsibility was to take it easy on myself. I was grateful for the additional permission to kind of let things cool down before launching into the next thing, during the initial part of our working together. So that was a big part of it, it was that partnership, that relationship. I wouldn't necessarily call it surprising, like I was expecting that kind of relationship & was happy that my expectations were met & exceeded to that extent, like I feel like a lot was taken care of, I had a lot of wins during these last six months.
Marin
So, speak to that a little bit & fully brag about yourself, what are the wins that you experienced? I also want to highlight for a second as one of the wins (in case you don't) is that period when you gave yourself permission, as you said, to rest & to be with what was & not for something or feel what so many of us feel this obligation to be productive or like whatever the story is, that was the first half of our work together. It's time to rest & reflect & chill & be with life. So that that's, for sure, a win - that you already mentioned.
Andy
You know, & I wouldn't have mentioned that, so I'm glad that you did. But it was so significant. & I feel like the only reason I'm where I am now, which is strange, it's not like I'm in this place, again, we talked about this last time we talked where like, the results of my working with you was not that I scaled my business 10 times over, right? I didn't make a bunch of sales in 30 days or anything like that, & I have yet to release a product. I'm definitely closer, I'm working on releasing the product & it's happening every day because of the things that we did every day. But I feel like things like building systems & schedules, the things that I noticed that you offer in The Experience that you're talking about where it's like, there's financial freedom, & then there's goals & then there's self doubt, all of these things that were addressed. I recognize that work that we did & every one that I've seen so far.
Some of the most significant wins were definitely in the beginning where I was able to recuperate a lot & that was I think, critical. Like I think that there's no way I'd be where I am without having had that rest.
Marin
& how would you explain, you said that there's no way I would be where I am. How would you explain where you are?
Andy
Content, you know, things are happening as they're happening, & I'm doing the work & I am not attached to an outcome. I'm just being exploratory & creatively a lot more free than I was before & I'm a lot more okay with it. I have an honest process at this point where, you know, I do work every day & then I kind of explore what's gonna happen as a result of that work? Like, what's it gonna be? Is it gonna be something? Is it gonna contribute to something? Or is it just keeping me sharp today, you know, like a lot less attachment to the outcome of, this blog post needs to get done. & this video needs to get done & these things need to happen. So, it's very much I'm still in this formative process of deciding what Surefooted is actually going to be & now having taken on Megan as a partner in that - collaboration was initially like, one of the main ideas that came out of wanting to work on Surefooted was collaboration, working with people.
Marin
Yes, I am taken back to the our first or second session when we had that future self-visualization & the image that I'm so excited to see come to life. & as you're explaining it right now, the openness that you have, which is night & day from what the conversation was 6+ months ago, I've just been like, I'm in this exploration phase, I'm in the formative phase of what this is. I'm open to collaboration & collaboration has had to kind of always been the center point & the focus, but the way that you've enacted collaboration, & really talk about collaboration, I feel like has evolved so much.
& that it's like, collaboration with yourself, with the parts of yourself, with your partnerships, with your business, in your clients with the type of product you have. It’s just become so multi-dimensional, whereas before it was “Oh, yeah, collaborating with people on business would be great”. Now it's become like this even bigger vision & so along those lines with the openness & the evolution, I'm excited to see that come to light & I'm excited to see how it's identical to what we saw, while also being completely different. I can sense that it's gonna be like, “Oh yeah, that's what the forest meant & that's what the compound meant.”
Andy
Yeah, I'm definitely very curious. You know, I'm remaining very, very curious about it, especially based on the timeline, like that looked so concrete to me, & I feel right now, I'm working hard towards that end towards that compound. It's not necessarily that I'm working on the first step or like, the 90th step in reality, because I've done 90 steps or whatever. But it's very clear in my mind, that was still one of the most profound visits by far in a way that you & I shared, I think, because it was really, that it stood out to me. & I've been able to go back to that so many times. & it's something that I very clearly still want, that I wanted before I even knew that I wanted it. You know, it was just so vivid & real when we when we actually did the exercise, it was a no brainer that you know, something to work towards.
Marin
Yes & that statement that you just made about, you knew you wanted it, before you even knew what it was. & then when you had that experience of the vision of like, “Oh, yeah, like this is for sure.” & now having that vision to return to, I think this is a really interesting aspect of coaching. I don't claim to be the expert of your life, because I'm not. You are the expert of your life. Nor do I have advice for what to do, that's for other experts & support systems that you have. It's really drawing out your own advice. Before I knew what coaching was, if I were to hear that, I'd be like, “Why would I pay someone, especially that much money, to tell me what I know”. So, explain just a little bit about why it's beneficial to have a coach along for that ride, even though it's ultimately coming from you.
Andy
I have done so many value meditations & vision boarding meditations & exercises & ways to dream intentionally by myself & with small groups. & it comes back to being pretty clear on what the goal actually is. When we are in the thick of it, it's very difficult to take that step back intentionally. So, it's really easy to just get lost in the day to day. Having a coach, it was very useful to come back to “Oh, yeah, I said that two weeks ago. That's right, & that was because I said that two weeks ago. & that was because we had that awesome talk two weeks before that.” You have these regular checkpoints that keep you at least sort of on track.
Marin
That's a great parallel to a meditation experience, or a retreat event or a conference versus a coaching relationship & that you can have profound, absolutely, experiences at a workshop or conference or meditation. & then what happens? It's up to you, right? & so that goes back to what you said earlier, where you're really looking for that accountability partner to ensure that yes, the vision happened, but also we revisited it 11 times, & therefore it was like really built into your system, to your structure, into your reflections. & I also appreciate your honesty. It's not like it's this magic pill, either to just like, send you forward, & all of a sudden have, you know, whatever someone thinks of as success. It’s all part of this process.
& actually, how would you define looking at coaching, that six months as a whole, would you in hindsight, still define it as that accountability relationship? Or would you define it as something else or a different description of how this interplays with your journey?
Andy
I am really into growth at this point, & I think that it's largely in part of our six months together, & it being intentional, like there has to be, you know, you can read a lot of self-help books & you can take a lot of online courses, you can do all sorts of things to make yourself better. But one of those things is to have the integrity to say something to somebody & then follow through with it, that accountability part of being better. So, I mean, there are going to be different seasons in my life that maybe I can or can't afford a one on one coach, I can imagine I will work with someone one on one again, because it was so helpful. The financial considerations being what they are, it's not something that everybody can do all the time & that's fine, not everybody needs to do it all the time. It's definitely something that has benefits at appropriate times, which I imagine, many people go through many times in their lives, if they're being honest with themselves anyways.
Marin
Absolutely & you know, this is kind of pulling back the veil of Yes&’s business. But that's what I've loved about adding in a group membership to my business model is that one on one coaching is for sure, the most profound transformation that I see with my clients, & I think of your timing of when one on one coaching fell in your life, I can't think of something more perfect than then one on one coaching during that time, & to have that space & to have thatlevel of support. & like you said, financially, but also like energetically & just like whatever is going on in your life, we don't always need that level of intensity, even if we value growth forever, we don't always need that level. & so that's why it's great to have a bunch of different support options within Yes&, to have something that's not as intense as, “we're about to do something in six months” & we’re going to get it done & dive really, really deep.
So, I have two final questions before we wrap up today & thank you for your time. One of them is we've explained this transformation from before the picture you painted before, to the journey to after, can you imagine what would be your reality right now? Had you not had a coach through that process?
Andy
I imagine I would have a job by now. No, I would certainly not have the home that I've built in the way that it's been built because I wouldn't have necessarily had the vision to build it the way that I wanted to build. & that's a big part of the content generation that's coming now that the things that I want to work on, I have the courage, I would say, to live in a way that's kind of outside certain norms, because I've become more comfortable with myself as a result of the work that we've done. I don't imagine that that would have happened on its own.
Marin
I love that answer for so many reasons. First off, imagining myself in someone else's shoes & hearing you saying, “Well, I would have had a job by now.” I feel like societally, I feel like people would be like, “Wait, isn't that what we want?” So, I love that part of your answer & we'll explore that in a second. & then being comfortable with yourself & how that foundation & I speak to this all the time, but you experiencing it & having this story to share of what is possible when that becomes our foundation, is that you can make those authentic decisions, you can live in an uncomfortable place, because you have a “why”, you have a really strong why that is unshakable because it’s you.
You explained just a little bit more of not having a job right now, why is that ideal? & why would having a job be the thing that would have been misaligned?
Andy
I don't know that anyone's gonna pay me to do what I want to do, unless it's in a more direct way or in a way that I've set up the systems to do it right. I want people to pay me to teach them. That's the goal. I don't want somebody to set my hours or my schedule, I really have been valuing, staying at home for one thing, having flexibility to homeschool my son, I have this freedom because of the lifestyle that we're trying to lead. I definitely appreciate that a lot.
Marin.
The homeschooling piece, the very first session, that was one of your goals, to homeschool your son & then the last session we had when we were going through that goal, I loved your reaction. You're like “No way!”
Andy
Like I remember we didn't we didn't ever talk about it again beyond that. It was just one of those things, & it still happened.
Marin
Right? Exactly. Which goes to show it's when these goals come from a place that's actually you, that's actually what you want - they're going to happen. & of course, it takes intention. Who knows, speaking that goal aloud could have been enough to set it in motion & that's why it was so awesome at session 12 to be like, “Oh my god, I'm homeschooling my son & it's like the perfect environment what I imagined.”
All right. Last question of the day is would you recommend coaching & specifically who would you recommend coaching with Yes& for?
Andy
Yes, I definitely would recommend coaching. What I am exploring in my work now is how challenging transition can be & how challenging change can be & how monumental the change that most of us face actually is - like it's pretty serious stuff. Many of us discover that we stopped having goals some time ago, we've been driftless for quite some time or drifting along, getting very lackadaisical about life.
I liken it to somebody coming into my office because they're in pain. It requires more than one visit, it requires more than one thought about a thing before change happens, that requires regular accountability & check-ins, insight & goals. & you have to actually think about that & then reflect. You can do that in conversation with somebody, but there's those biases that exist & the conditioning that exists, even between two people who are friends & things like that, where a coaching relationship - there's a little bit more objectivity.
When you find the right coach, you are obviously the right coach in this case, I heard a lot of insight, & I got myself to a point where now I can do some self-reflection, & get a little bit further, I feel like I've worked myself to that place with your support.
Marin
Yeah, so you can take those tools that we built together. So that very much collaboration at first, & now you have this toolkit then take forward.
Andy
Right, right. & I've been using it since I mean, I've been using it for the whole time that we were working together & since we stopped working together, I've still been using it regularly, everything that we've talked about pops in every once in a while.
Marin
Yes, yes. Amazing. Do you have anything that you would tell anyone who's considering coaching? Who's thinking, I don't know, should I do this thing or not?
Andy
Yeah, this totally has to be at the right time, there has to be a moment where you realize that you can't do it on your own & you've tried it in other ways. You've tried it this way, you've tried it this way, you've tried it this way & it didn't work those ways. So, it takes a fair amount of honest self-reflection to realize this is going to be this hard & have this cost, these things are necessary. Otherwise, I can keep on getting a little bit further ahead or just kind of plodding along & just doing whatever you can to try & make whatever “change” you're trying to make.
Marin
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know that it's going to impact a lot of people & help in the decision making process. It's also of course, just fun for us to revisit this conversation & explore all that's transpired over the last 6+ months & of course will be connected moving forward. Thank you so much. Thank you for your time today.
Andy
Thank you very much, Marin.
