Video length: 11 minutes & 17 seconds
Transcription below, edited slightly for clarity
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Success. Fulfillment. Balance.
These words are wonderful things, & many of us have put these words on a pedestal. What I invite us to do today is examine them, if only for a few minutes - to define them on our own terms so we don't waste resources, time & energy.
Today I will walk you through this step by step on defining success, experiencing what that feels like, & then reflecting on how you continue to pursue this experiment in pursuit of true success.
Before diving in, let me introduce who I am & give you a taste of what's possible if you apply these four journal prompts.
My name is Marin Laukka, & I empower women to experience true fulfillment & success - without false expectations about what should be or limiting beliefs about what is or isn't possible for your life. I guide you to define success on your own terms - so you can unapologetically make your positive impact on our world.
Today, if you apply these four prompts, you could be just like my Experience member, Maren (who, yes, has the same name as myself). She shares: "I discovered that I do carry so much self-confidence & capacity to face hard things. I am reminded that I can be brave & afraid at the exact same time!"
That's what's possible for you today. I will not promise the fear will disappear. In fact, you may find that fear is potentially greater at times because you're not just going after "success" as defined & given by someone else...
You're going after what really sits on your heart & because you got clear on what you really want, you have the unshakable confidence & ground to stand upon, so when it gets scary & when it gets hard, you still feel confident & you still feel capable.
If you're ready, let's dive into these four general problems:
#1 Understand Your Strength
Even if you don't necessarily think of it as your biggest strength. Maybe you wouldn't put it on your strength inventory. What do other people admire about you, other people would even say you're really good at this thing, or they praise you for this thing, praise you for this trait, praise you for this way of being.
Take a moment to reflect on what that is, what others will acknowledge about you, because sometimes we have these blind spots. At times we refer to blind spots as negative things. Sometimes our blind spot is actually what we're really good at, what we can help people with, where our strengths actually lie.
Take a second to consider, through someone else's perspective, what is your strength. Then go on to prompt two & consider…
#2 Owning Your Weakness
Who is someone you really admire? What specific traits or habits or way of being do you really admire about them? So, think of that person, who you want to be, in one version of life where you can switch places for a day. Who is that person, & then think specifically what trait is it that you really like about them.
I have labeled this as owning your weakness. However, this isn't necessarily a weakness or something that you lack or maybe you don't naturally adopt these as naturally as this other person.
Experiment. Try on this trait for yourself. Think about how can you adopt that trait that you admire about the other person. How can you try it on if only for a moment, or maybe for a day?
#3 Declaration to Take Action
So, for example, you might say, I really admire that this person is so generous with their time, they volunteer & therefore they're part of the community. I wish I was more connected to my community. So, I think “How can I take one step towards that trait, that version of living?”
Maybe it's to pick up trash in my neighborhood, for five minutes. Bite sized, just try it on a little bit. I will declare I'm going to pick up trash in my neighborhood for five minutes, tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. Be as specific as feels good for you to ensure you follow through & do this. & then after you have done this experiment, move on to prompt four.
#4 Reflect
So, this is such an important part of the equation that often gets missed in personal development. It’s bringing it back to us as individuals, who have unique preferences & different values & desires & experiences & feelings. Without taking these ideas & these things that we admire about someone else & really not only applying them for us but trying them on for size & reflecting about how they actually felt.
Sometimes we can continue to pursue something that even if we admire or even if you say that we want, we may not actually want that thing, it's just something else about it. & so, take this fourth prompt and reflect after your experience. What surprised me about this experiment, was it what I expected? How did it align with what I expected? Does that feel like my version of success? Is it something that I actually do want, or maybe tweak it a little bit so it feels a little bit more like I expected it to be or feel a little bit more authentic to who I am as an individual.
If it felt completely off, go back to that second prompt to see what the different lense or perspective to see what it is you admire about that person. So again, my example that I shared if someone's really generous with their time I see their connection to the community. Maybe I go back & say, maybe it's not to be generous or volunteering that I really admire & want to try to adopt.
Maybe its being connected, being connected with my community & how can I try that on, or maybe break it down even more. It's simply connection, and how can I implement more connection in my life. How can I continue with these steps 1-4 and experiment to not only get clear on what your definition of success is, but also to try it on & test it out.
The great news about all this is that it needs to be repeated. Because if we don't continue to test & ask ourselves, is this what I actually want. How do I want to tweak this, how do I redefine this, because we don't have all the guidance & expertise from others but also our wisdom & expertise to shine. Even if it works for someone else may not work for us.
If you want to take it to the next level. If you want this type of personal development in your life on a regular basis, & not just alone but in a community that is beyond my wildest dreams - so supportive, encouraging, & keeping each other accountable for their unique goals, I encourage you to check out The Experience. Every single month with step by step, guided practices to take you from out of alignment, to one more step toward alignment in various aspects of your life, from relationship to career to finances to connection to self-doubt, all of these different traits that create the life of fulfillment & success & balance we desire.
There are many membership options for you to choose from, self-study to group coaching to one on one support (like Maren, who I shared at the beginning of this video), so check them all out to see what works for you at yes&bymarin.com/experience.
