What about when life doesn’t go according to plan?
You get married, and end your partnership one (or 40) years later. You earn a degree, and upon completion realize your passion lies elsewhere - or the universe guides you toward a seemingly unrelated career. You courageously move cross-country and do not love what you excitedly anticipated for years. You let down your guard in friendship, and it is not reciprocated. You hit a deer on the highway, and find yourself without a car and with a great financial bill (👋🏻).
Confusion, frustration, anger, sadness, relentless ambition, release…
Many emotions may follow the un-planned. Our immediate reaction and proceeding thought-loops may feel out of our control, and overwhelming at times.
Because the unknown is scary. And feeling out of control is uncomfortable.
“This wasn’t the plan,” of course implies there was a plan to begin with - likely, there was a sense of control; you had a vision, an intention, a desire - and thus your unexpected event or outcome can feel like something was taken from you. “It’s not fair.”
Honor the emotions and natural reactions you experience. They are crucial messengers to guide your understanding of what you value, desire, and believe.
If you feel hurt, there is also care. If you feel confused, a long-held belief may be in question. If you are frustratingly fighting to sustain your initial plan, the linked outcome is something you deeply desire.
“It’s not fair.” “This wasn’t the plan.” “I don’t have [time, money] to deal with this.” Go there. Give yourself permission to feel it all. Remember emotions rarely overwhelm us for more than a minute or two when we truly allow ourself to feel them - so if you feel supported, you can go to the depth of this emotion and simply let it be.
And when you feel the natural release and greater understanding of yourself in relationship with your current context, take a breath to remind yourself: Change is all there is.
Feel compassionate toward your frustration. And. Let it go. Adapt. Shift. Move.
Release your fight against reality, allow what is, and begin again.
Because as you remain curious about yourself & your current context, you may be prompted to question the very values, desires, and beliefs you had assumed unmalleable.
Change is all there is.
