Yes& by Marin | Joyfully Financial Speaker + Joyful Budgeting Coach

View Original

{91} Positive Psychology Panel

Video Length: 21 minutes & 41 seconds

Transcription below, edited slightly for clarity

Jake Smith

Director, gBETA St. Thomas:

So, thank you again for joining.

We're going to jump on in & talk about Marketing Psychology & really what the big picture of today is

 

We want to look at: How can we understand ourselves & understand the companies that we're working with -- the companies we might be mentoring  & advising, & the companies we're leading. How can we understand psychology as a positive force, you know, supplemental to our leadership ability & take a look internally to ourselves & to our team to extract & apply some psychological principles & tactics in practice

 

From there we're going to take the internal approach & bring it out to looking at a customer base, looking at a target audience, how can we best understand our audience, use principles of psychology to better our business & better the good we're bringing to the world through our company's value. 

 

So, we got some great panelists that are joining us from both an internal perspective & an external perspective. We're going to give a little intro for each of our panelists & they're going to share a little overview of their professional background & what it is they're doing nowadays.

 

So, we're going to move on to our next guest, & I'm super excited to introduce Marin Laukka. Marin runs & she's the owner of a consultancy called Yes&. Marin is a St. Thomas grad as well so we have some cool Tommy representatives on our board. Marin, would you like to share a little bit more about what you're up to, what life coach consultancylooks like, & some of your background in psychology? 

 

Marin:

Yes, I'm very happy to be here. I'm very happy to be around St. Thomas students & alumni. So, I graduated with my bachelor's degree in Psychology from St. Thomas & then went on to pursue my PhD, which turned into just leaving with a Master's. Being content there at Claremont Graduate University & my master's degrees in Positive Developmental Psychology.

 

Why I chose to leave with that Master's is because I got really interested when I started digging into the research, in the application of that research, & that's what (in a combination of other things) led me to coaching, the coaching world. That is what Yes& is. 

 

Yes& is all about coaching professionals & the high achieving rule followers to define, to maybe take a step back for the first time ever & say “What is your version of success, what does that actually look like?” & then helping you to align your life & your career with your own definition, rather than following maybe the prescriptive path that you've been on thus far. 

 

So, I absolutely love what I do & what I think is amazing about this panel specifically & how psychology ties into it is that Positive Psychology specifically is not only what I utilize in my coaching practice, in my workshops & in working with clients; but also I utilize all the tenants & practices of Positive Psychology myself as a business owner & CEO to make sure that I really show up to my work every day with a positive lens -- which doesn't just mean the positive emotions, the full reign, but being able to be my best self & really show up in the most profound way that I can serve my clients & everyone that I work with.

 

Jake:

Yeah. Excellent. We're excited to jump in, Marin brings a great perspective around burnout, right, how can we continue bringing good & being incredibly dedicated & committed as so many of us in the audience are. How can we keep doing that in a wholesome & healthy way that's sustainable & it's really, really going to be exciting. So, we're super excited to have Marin here, & to our, our last panelist. & speaking of culture, would like to move over to Marin; I know that you've done some significant time & study & research around Positive Developmental Psychology & we can extract our own interpretations of that. But Marin, could you walk us through what does Positive Developmental Psychology mean & how does that apply into the workspace.

 

Marin:

Yeah so, Positive Developmental Psychology. I was really lucky in my graduate studies to work with Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, which is (some of you may know him from Flow) one of the original founders of the Positive Psychology Movement & in working with him & what the founders have decided is that if they could they'd go back & change the name so that it's not Positive Psychology. Because when we think Positive Psychology, especially I think in Western culture & in America, we think of like happiness & outward joy & exuberance, & in fact positive psychology is the study of well-being.

 

Well-being includes the labeled “negative” & the labeled “positive” emotions & experiences. Well-being includes all of it. It's all about riding the waves & so Positive Developmental Psychology is how can we be with everything that happens in life in a way that continues our well-being & fosters us to flourish. When things go right, what are the what are the practices in place, what are the elements in place & then how can we enhance that while knowing that things going right doesn't mean the elimination of any of the negative experiences or negative emotions, it means being able to be with them in a productive, efficient, well way.

 

Jake:

I think that that's super rich, because it's hard, you know, at times to avoid that “this is negative” or “this is not good”you know this is a definitely a huge hiccup. Positivity plays a role for sure. I think that I, you know, would agree with that & it is encouraging -- it's okay when it's not okay. In some situations, Marin, can you share a little bit more about Yes&? Tell us a little bit about starting that out & expand a little bit with the well-being approach to business.

 

Marin:

Sure. Yeah. So, in my intro I shared who I work with, & who I work with is very much I think of like myself & or my historic self of like the “high achiever, the go getter, the rule follower” & where that likely leads my clients is to a place that's objectively successful, but still something about it doesn't feel successful. If something doesn't feel successful or feel right, what I found is that it's likely because we haven't had the space or the awareness, or just the practices or support to go in & say what is it that we want. For some of my clients that looks like drastic changes like:

 

starting their own business

leaving a career

moving to Norway (one of my clients is about to do that)

 

& for some of my clients it's staying in the same exact role, you know, not leaving any relationships or doing anything drastic but, for instance, tying into what I just spoke to, one of my clients right now. 

 

The past few sessions we've worked on how her whole belief - change in perception, change of negative emotion or even conflict within relationships or work isn't bad necessarily, it's that there are many options to be with that & rather than saying it's bad it's just more information, more data to utilize to make decisions, & to make these decisions from a place of empowerment & a place of authenticity, which I find to be maybe an overused word right now. But from a place of alignment with our own values & our own desires & our own goals & our own fears as well & speaking to all of that.

 

What I really enjoyed from the conversation that David & Emily were bringing up is that I'm right now a solopreneur. I hire some contractors but for the most part it's me & myself, & although that might sometimes feel simpler or if there's anyone in the audience who is an entrepreneur/solopreneur. I find with myself & my clients, is that rather than managing a team of other people I'm managing the team that's going on inside my own head

 

So, those very traits that you're taking into organizations, I'm taking that into myself of whenever I'm about to take a risk or whatever I'm about to put myself out there, it's me kind of sitting down at my metaphorical boardroom with, you know, my fear voice & my excited voice & my kid voice & all these different parts of me that make up Yes& even though it's just me at the head, & I can use some of those same management techniques & same techniques that we use in Organizational Psychology, for instance, with my clients & myself, thinking of all the little caricatures that are within us that navigate our decisions whether it's subconsciously or consciously.

 

Jake: 

That's awesome. Yeah, thinking about that approach for your internal board & I have the picture of Inside Out, the cartoon. Characters that are that are buzzing around out there & to go on that point I think it obviously is super important to know where you're coming from into situations, right, & know the emotions you're coming & bringing in. Can you, & this is for the whole panel as well, but would you guys mind sharing some pointed tips like “How do you stay in tune with yourself?”

 

My wife works in special education as a behavioral analyst & with emotional behavior disorders. She talks about an executive state & an emotional state of your mind. Where you want to be in your executive state for decision making, but it's easy to be in our emotional state & talking about that tension. What would you guys say, what are helpful things for leaders/entrepreneurs/solopreneurs to be doing on checking where we're at & what we're bringing into conversations.

 

Marin:

I, of course, I'm a little biased. But what I've seen & what I hear time & time again from those that I look up to & that I work with, is having a support system. Which for me has been a coach, always in my corner. I shared with the panelists before any attendees joined that I've navigated COVID in a way that I'm really proud of, & I think I've been able to do that because I've had (from the get go) a coach & thus a developing foundation, internally for me who's running my business, that's really solid & I still have a coach & I foresee always having a coach. 

 

Which is just to say & maybe you like a community more so you're working with a mastermind or maybe you're always doing continuing education or something to keep you going & developing but what I found really unique about coaching specifically is I've never before experienced such high touch views & awareness. Specifically, to Jake, what you just brought up of me knowing myself. I can take a course & learn something new, but that's still putting it externally & outward, rather than what I experienced with my coaches is going in & really illuminating those shadows, illuminating all those characters, illuminating all the self-sabotaging things as well as the skills & the talents that I have that I want to bring out even more. Having that one-on-one space, whatever that looks like for you, I found to be by far the most powerful & the best way for me to navigate & to have that foundation from the get go, so that I can continue to show up for myself & my clients in the most powerful way. 

                                                                                                      

David:

Well, I think one thing Marin has that I'm quite jealous of is that she mentioned she studied under a guy called Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who's got one of the hardest names to spell, & is one of the greatest psychologists in this area in the world. So, I'm quite jealous of that. Yes, Yes, I think I've read all these books, they're wonderful.

 

Marin:

I was just going to add on top of that that I've heard it said that coaching collapses time. & sometimes that can be like, what I often say is “I'm the guide”. I don't know your life better than you know your life, but I have the questions & the tools to help reflect for you & really dig under what's actually going on. But speaking to what your father told you David, is sometimes people are like “Well, why would I pay you if I already know these answers?” & my answer to that is

 

Well, are you following through with those answers.?

Do you really see those answers?

Do you want to know those answers now?

 

…Or do you want to know those answers in 10 years once you've already gone down a career path that maybe isn't as great or whatever else it looks like externally.

 

David:

I think that idea of coaching collapses time is fantastic & you probably saw me writing it down. Yes, I’m going to use that.

 

Jake:

Yeah, this is great. For all of our guests, this has been really us on the panel getting to take notes from each other here. But I have one more question on this topic of looking internally, understanding ourselves or company or leadership roles, before we look externally. What does this look like in operating our businesses, & the question is for all of our panel & it's from Lois in the audience. It's great to be valuing our strengths & running in our lane, so to speak. How do we deal with weaknesses & weaknesses that can characterize as problems in consistent situations? What feedback, would you guys have for ourselves & for leading companies to deal with our weaknesses?

 

Marin:

I also think what this is a slightly different perspective but I love those, those two examples & I think, of course your strengths are in actually having teams, right, like other human beings, & how to how to deal with weaknesses in that situation. Something I also do again, individually as a CEO as a business owner, but also with my clients. When weaknesses come up I feel like there's absolutely a time to stop, to delegate, to say “This is my weakness, it's not efficient for me to do this, it's not best for the team or for the business for me to do this.” & I think there are some times when we can dig under the weaknesses, dig under the roadblocks or the fears that are coming up. 

 

So, I'll share a personal example. Historically I've been really afraid of taking risks, especially financial risks. Because what's under it is that I really desire safety & feeling safe & had I just labeled myself as “I'm scared to take financial risks” that would have limited the scope. I mean, as a business owner that would have limited everything. 

 

I wouldn't have been able to start my own business, but because I was able to work through & get under what's going on there what I do now whenever I feel that limitation, that weakness is I stand in “Oh, I feel very safe right now.” & maybe pull in some extra things that make me feel extra safe if I'm in a place of risk. But I think that element of also digging under the weakness & what is that actually illuminating oftentimes it speaks to our values, or different things just to keep in check, so that we don't let those completely limit us from what we're capable of.

 

Jake:

Yeah, I think that that's a very valuable point that transitions us & how we look at risk. We might hear stories of “It must have been crazy to start a company in the economy like today”, or 2008, or 2000 & historically we've actually seen five of the biggest companies in the United States, come out of those recessions. Apple & Microsoft were 1976 & 1977. We saw 1999 Alphabet start in 2000 we saw Amazon start & in 2008 we saw companies like Airbnb pop up & I'm really excited to see where that where entrepreneurs rise to the occasion now. 

 

One of the ways that I heard from those stories & examples – it isn't as risky as we might think or believe it to be. Marin you're a great example of betting on yourself, betting on the safety of yourself & running to execute that way. Emily & David & starting your companies too. I'd like to transition some of the some of that value & knowing your strengths internally in the strengths of your team that builds the safety & mitigates your risk for starting something or taking a new avenue on translating that to the marketplace now & looking at being confident in the value that you're bringing the specific marketplace you're serving.  

 

I'd like to specifically ask if you guys could talk a bit towards, how do you transfer these out to staying in our lane, from a marketing perspective, with the value that you're bringing, trying to avoid being all things to all people. What are some of the important things to understand about staying in your lane for the value your company is bringing & the people, not necessarily the businesses or clients, but the people that are behind your customer base.

 

Marin:

Yeah, Emily, that last statement you said if you feel good about it… I feel like that's one of (obviously, you can tell from what I've said today) one of my core tenants, both in how I help my clients & also myself & a phrase that I often live by is like “What's best for you is what's best for me.” or “What's best for me is what's best for everyone else.” & with that idea I think staying in my lane & also helping people who come to my door. I think a great example of this is recently I had a huge uptick in people looking for coaching services because of COVID-19. & at the same time, a lot of people were asking if there's a more financially friendly option because of COVID-19, & what didn't feel good to me is to discount my services, & suddenly have so many clients on my plate & then actually I couldn't serve them. 

 

So even though I was technically doing what they were asking of me, I wasn't going to be my best self & thus they weren't going to get the service & the value that they deserve & that they were asking for. Instead what I did is give myself some space & looked at what was being asked & then circle back to what feels good for me to approach this problem & this challenge in front of me. 

 

For me that was creating a free weekly group call, which I do every Tuesday night now & has been amazing. It feels great for me, it's free. So, the financially friendly, but it's a group it's everyone who had been coming to me all in one place, rather than me, you know, spreading myself way too thin, so I can show up with so much value for them, but with boundaries. & I think sometimes entrepreneurs or when we're just getting started & it's like taking any work that comes to our door, we can fall into that trap of spreading ourselves too thin. & I think that's quite dangerous. 

 

Not only that, again, we might not be giving the value that's being asked & that will lessen our value in the long term, but also then we get burned out as entrepreneurs & as business owners, & we get lost & then it's five years later & it's like “Wait, this was not what I had in mind for this business. Where did my stake in the ground go?” like going so far off track. So, I think it's, of course, listening to our customers, listening to what's being asked, & tying that into “How can I solve this problem in a way that feels really good for me?” Sometimes that also means delegating or referring to someone else or a different service, or sometimes that just means being creative in how I can show up & go at that problem, again, in a way that feels good for me, which in turn will benefit everyone far better than any other mode.

 

Jake:

Certainly, something that we talk around generated quite often is to continue practicing your expertise, continue running with what you're an expert in. Yes, there's facets of “well that's common sense,” we've talked a lot about common sense, maybe we've cleaned the windshield off a little bit for us to understand that today. But another layer too, when we talk with startup founders about, continuing to be their expert. 

 

It's okay if you're not you know touching every aspect of your market, you know, it's okay if you're not running down those avenues. Actually, a point that you bring up Marin, which is really exciting for a local economy is, if you know someone that meets the expertise of a customer interested in yours for the wrong reason -- referrals are great if you think about how that cycle hopefully goes. 

 

For example, our Twin Cities ecosystem. Hopefully that brings a lot of people that really need what you provide to your doorstep. I think that sharing platform for our network is important, & it plays into running in your lane, knowing your market, which in turn leads to an operating business that knows their company & knows their strengths. So, I'd love to, bucket that up send it out to our attendees as well. 

 

Know your strengths, know where you're playing & what plays really well & know others around you, whether they're you know part of your business or not & play to that.

You can certainly send people on to other opportunities & other experts as it makes sense, & hope to that your labor will not be in vain, running down your lane & being the expert that you are. 

 

I know that we're at time here, I've been utterly blessed by all three of you joining here today. This has been fantastic. I have three pages of notes while we were going through all of this, & I'm super, super glad to have had you all here. To all of our attendees thank you again for joining us. We'll have a copy of this recording as well as some fun tidbits from our awesome guests on our LinkedIn page so if you haven't seen that LinkedIn group, I admonish you to join. I’ll admit you, there's no quiz to get in. & you can find some of our content from there. I'll turn it over to each one of you for a final thank you, & I really appreciate you coming by. Can you just share what's a way that our audience can follow up with you individually?

 

Marin:

I will send everyone to my Instagram page just because that encapsulates everything. So, on Instagram & if you click that link you'll have two different options that I suggest you look into if you like situations like this where it's zoom & it's a group. I mentioned that Tuesday night Zoom call, there's a link to know what the week's topic is & to get in for free, to see what it's all about. If you'd rather have one-on-one support, still for free, you can jump on the phone with me &, again, that link in my bio on Instagram (which you can access whether you have an Instagram account or not) sends you to a one-on-one call & we can talk about whatever it is that made you excited today when you're listening, or if you're ready to achieve your version of success (not someone else's) then that's what that phone call is all about.

 

Jake:

Awesome we posted those in the chat, thank you to everyone else. I’ll play some music if you wanted to look in the chat box for any of those resources as we wrap up. But thank you again for joining us! Again, super excited to have you all here, talk around marketing & psychology & I know I have plenty to take away from this, I hope everyone did as well. David, Emily, Marin thank you again so much for being here. I look forward to staying in touch & seeing you onward.

 

Marin: 

Yes, Thank you so much. Thank you very much.

 

Jake:

Awesome. Alright. Take care. See you guys. Bye.


 If you enjoyed this exercise and would like to integrate these types of concepts and practices in your life, Yes& has recently launched a group program called the Yes& Experience. Each month, we focus on one concept and you get exercises delivered directly to your email, and have the opportunity to join group coaching calls and dive even deeper, together. 

 Prices will rise soon as we are growing, so be sure to check it out now and take advantage of our Founder’s rates starting at just $19 per month.

Until then, you know where to find me on Instagram on YouTube. These videos will be happening every Tuesday now, so look forward to those and get on my mailing list so that you can receive replays, and also receive the PDFs that accompany each little mini workshop. 

Pin This Post!