Speaking intentionally has been one of the most profound shifts I’ve made to increase self-awareness, manifest my goals, & excitedly question my assumptions.

This week, I will write out two profound (yet surprisingly simple) shifts we can adopt for transformational & empowering impact.

One of easiest, quickest, & most impactful shifts I make with clients is the incorporation of “I statements.”

In our English language, it is common to use “you” in place of “I” for the majority of our dialogue. One might say, “You don’t have to work out every day to be happy.” When a more accurate statement would be, “I don’t have to work out every day to be happy.” Likewise, “You know when you have to run to catch the bus and feel so stressed the rest of the day?” transforms to, “When I have to run to catch the bus I feel stressed the rest of the day.”

As my clients consistently experience, there is incredible power in this transformation.

I statements invite us to own our experience. They encourage personalization, rather than broad generalization: “I prefer to…” rather than a general “you” / “we all” prefer to… I statements uncover powerful beliefs otherwise masked with the assumption that the belief is truth. I statements point to our values, our assumptions about ourself & others, & our preferences & requests. I statements provide the opportunity for our truth to be told & heard, rather than figured out - fostering healthier relationships.

I statements change the game.

A second, transformational word shift is the phrase “historically speaking.”

Sometimes, we speak about ourselves & our circumstances with wildly bold claims, painting a picture not only of what has always been - but manifesting what will always be.

For example, “I’m always late” may be a somewhat accurate statement for myself. However, if I care to reflect with this statement or aim to change my currently assumed status quo - a simply “historically speaking” can shift the paradigm. “Historically speaking, I’m always late.” This added centimeter of room provides just enough space to question - is this still true? Is this what I desire for my future?

Likewise, “He’s not very nice” could feel true in my experience with an old coworker. However, what if I haven’t seen him in years? Could I provide space by saying, “Historically speaking, he wasn’t very nice.” In a similar mindset, I might choose to say “Historically speaking, I didn’t like that restaurant.” These scenarios don’t necessitate change - it may be that I still believe this coworker isn’t very nice, or still dislike the chosen restaurant. However, this small shift provides space to re-decide - to see with fresh eyes - &, if it feels right, to begin again.

“Historically speaking” invites possibility to shift, if you so desire. Historically speaking creates opportunity to create our future with intention. Historically speaking reminds us that who we were yesterday needn’t be who we are tomorrow. Historically speaking sets the foundation for evolution.

I’d love to hear if you’ve adopted these language shifts in the past, or plan to moving forward. What profound impact did they have for you? In what ways do you anticipate the possibility for transformation?

In my experience as a client & coach, it often takes an outside perspective to incorporate these powerful language shifts it requires breaking habitual patterns. If you’re interested to experience this for yourself in real time - & clarify a hidden assumption that may be holding you back from or aid in your direction toward a more full, authentic life - let’s chat 💛

Schedule your Free Coaching Consult at yesandbymarin.com/work-with-me