“So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breath out. & decide.”
The preceding script from Grey’s Anatomy is powerful because it’s direct. It puts the ball in our court, invites us to take responsibility for our circumstance, & act.
Action can feel challenging, & at times, we may choose to remain compassionate toward the part of us that feels scared or uncertain. We must not forget, however, that inaction is also action; by not taking action toward or away from the decision at hand, we act to promote the status quo.
For example: “Should I leave my job?” Is a classic inquiry if we feel dissonant in our current place of work or called to something that has sparked our intrigue. Where we may get caught is the belief that the decision is in leaving our job or not leaving our job. Understandably, this can feel overwhelming and consequential. Remaining in indecision, however, overloads our mental energy because we continuously circle back to the question - “Should I leave my job?”
To make a decision eases us of unnecessary cognitive load so we can focus in on what matters - and continue to move forward rather than stagnate. What other decision could we make instead of “to leave or not leave?” How about, “Should I start browsing job boards?” Or “Should I tell my partner I’m discontent at my current place of work?”
Once we break one big decision into smaller, more manageable decisions - we will likely feel the act of decision as more approachable. So we return to Grey’s quote: Decide.
To aid in the decision process, remember to start small & stay specific. A decision related to “Should I browse job boards?” may be, “Yes, for one week.” Then, I make another decision.
I think what makes decision feel overwhelming is the belief that there are only a few decisions to be made. In reality, we make decisions every minute. Luckily our brain works on autopilot for many of our choices, but it is a nice reminder that we HAVE choices to begin with - & many of them.
The decision you make today is not the only decision you will ever make. Although we may not have the opportunity to choose between the exact same options again, we CAN decide to shift toward something similar to the option we did not choose before.
So take your best guess. Make a decision. Preserve significant energy & resources as you quickly EXPERIENCE whether this choice fosters or detracts from your best life, rather than contemplating a possible decision every day [for years?!].
If fear remains - if you lack trust in your ability to decide or desire support through the contemplation and action process - that is what I’m here for. Schedule a trial session at yesandbymarin.com. Maybe that is all the decision you need.
