In the following four sections, I will hold space for us to contemplate self-trust: how to foster it, one tool for accountability, what to do when it gets scary, and how coaching is a practice of embracing self-trust.

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To foster self-trust:

Keep your own promises.

For example: if you set a goal to run 4 miles, but think to yourself “I should push a little further, I can do 4.5” once you reach the 4.0 mark… don’t. Once in a blue moon, a spontaneous added challenge is wonderful. And. If it becomes a frequent endeavor, your mind (and body) will stop trusting your initial goal. “4 miles? Ugh… I can’t do 4 miles..” - not because you can’t do FOUR, but because you don’t have the energy to do 4.5, which has become customary.

Likewise, if you promise yourself a gift after completing a goal or task, joyously receive that gift. “I can take a 30 minute break once I complete this question.” “To celebrate my first $1k, I will purchase new shoes.” Do not make an excuse once the milestone is reached - do not negotiate new terms or find grey area to realize that milestone actually isn’t enough to celebrate. Receive your reward with open arms. Enjoy it. YOU are worthy of celebration.

In both examples, we practice an acceptance of good enough. Good enough IS good enough. And if you notice you’re always ready to go that extra half mile, change your initial goal rather than breaking your promise. This fosters self-trust because you know the milestone is an actual pursuit, rather than a forever receding line; because you experience what it is to reach your goal, and utilize that as motivation to begin again. Because it acknowledges you are enough, already.

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For self-trust accountability:

Consider your calendar.

Personally, my calendar is also my to-do list. If I have something to do (reply to a client message, edit a webpage, buy groceries, do laundry, coffee with a friend, rock the gym…) it will have a space on my calendar. Conversely, if something is not on my calendar, it will likely not get done.

How does this relate to self-trust? Every time we follow-through with what is written on our calendar (or your version of a task management tool), rather than postponing, procrastinating, or changing plans, we foster self-trust. So when 10am rolls around, and “outline budget workshop” is written on my agenda, I outline my budget workshop. And when the clock hits 6, and “laundry” is written….

Sometimes, I don’t do laundry 😂 I’m human, too. With laundry specifically, I play a little game of “how many days can I delay this responsibility?” And look - most of the time, this is absolutely fine. I am thankful for ample clean clothes and I know it will get done before the stakes are dire. However - the pride, gratitude, and calm I feel when I DO follow-through with my set task of “laundry” at 6pm is consistent, because in doing this simple task when I told myself I would, I am building trust with my instincts & commitments.

So I am here to say: Follow-through with your plans. Honor your commitments (which also means, do not make commitments you will not honor). And if you would like an accountability experiment, choose one day to track how many tasks you complete as you said you would and how many tasks you post-pone or cancel all together.

Remain curious. When do you postpone? Might it be that this task doesn’t actually need to be done, and the planning was preemptive? Is this a task you postpone consistently, and may choose to delegate? How does it feel when you follow-through, and how does that influence your experience of self-trust?

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When scared:

What happens when we set a goal or make a promise to ourself that feels really frickin’ scary - especially as we approach its actualization?

“I will quit my job if I’m pressured to work one more holiday.” What happens when you are pressured to work one more holiday? Do you come up with another excuse, go back on your word, and make another promise? “Okay, well… If it happens again…”

I get it. Sincerely, I do. You’re scared, or overwhelmed or unsure or surprised - it came up quicker than you thought, you predicted it to look different than it does, it’s not AS bad in this moment, your current discomfort feels more manageable than discomfort of the unknown…

I’ve been there, too. Here’s the deal - breaking these promises will kill your self-trust. Breaking these promises will lead to waking up one day and realizing it’s been YEARS since you said you would quit - realizing you’re not living a life nearly as incredible as you once imagined. All because you got afraid when it came time to act.

Dear incredible human: it is okay to be afraid. It is okay to be uncomfortable or to be unsure. It is okay to ask for support. It is okay to set an accountability plan - because you know, in the moment, it will be easier to back down than see it through.

What is NOT okay is living a life of less than you aspire - of negotiating your potential, or diminishing your dreams.

Ah, let me make a correction. What is and is not okay for YOU? This is not for me to decide. Define your own terms, & stay true to those 💛

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Time to act:

With all of these self-trust thoughts in mind, what is one thing you will do - today, or this week - to foster your own self-trust? Will you do your laundry, or complete that task you keep postponing? Will you eat when you’re hungry or take a 30 minute break in the middle of the day because your body says “stand, please!” Will you make a decision, or follow-through with a decision already made? Will you look in the mirror and boldly proclaim: “I trust you.”

Especially because you are currently reading the blog of a life coach, one action could be to hire a coach.

Maybe, on the surface, it seems hiring a coach indicates lack of self-trust. I challenge it exemplifies the exact opposite.

Because I do not claim to know what you need or desire. I do not have advice or a “better” idea for how you live your life. I will not tell you you are doing it wrong, or that what you feel is not true.

Because I trust you above all else. Which fosters your self-trust, not detracts from it.

I ask good questions that YOU have the ability & wisdom to answer. I mirror your answers & stories & blind spots for YOU to consider fit. I hold you accountable for actions & goals we CO-create - set because YOU desire them & have depicted why.

As your coach, I aid in the illumination of values, ambitions, and action steps you already know. I dare us to lean even further into self-trust, not run away from it in search of external answers.

If you are intrigued, schedule your trial session by clicking “work with me.” And however you choose to embody your self-trust, please know: it is enough.