We are already prominently aware that social media is flooded with “perfect.” The images on our feeds include ideal vacations, perfect skin, romantic gestures, a baby all smiles…
I recognize the need for a more authentic online presence - especially as the pursuit of Yes&, and my personal life, is the full authentic experience.
As I started to post daily images for Yes&, however, I realize I do not have pictures of me crying. Nor do I have images of myself frustrated, or worried, or on edge - working in the zone or in deep inquiry. And although I could speak to these experiences via writing & explanation - I still feel slightly untrue frequently posting joyous Yes& imagery.
As I thought more about my conundrum - it made sense. I could authentically portray joy & excitement & coaching & dancing during my Yes& photoshoot, but it is not as typical to cry mid-shoot. Furthermore, how could I depict true, authentic emotion such as frightened tears or overwhelmed silence on demand?
This question led to many “how” solutions, and many more questions that remain as I continue my online presence. This stage, the “I know what’s needed, but how?” stage, is sometimes where my clients get stuck, too. Discomfort arrives when we suggest the “how” is unnecessary to understand prior to our taking action.
The other week, I sat in front of my camera after following a prompt from my coach to “show up just as I am.” There was no “purpose” to the video, nor an outline or plan; I simply sat down, took three breaths, & spoke my truth.
Since filming my personal alignment video, I’ve watched it at least a dozen times in awe: I admire what was missing from my online representation of the full, authentic life. This is exactly what I’ve talked about numerous times, but had not yet captured. The video itself includes tears & deep sighs, excitement & monstrous fear; it includes reflection on past experiences and deeper understanding of my present. Ultimately, it includes a soul-deep longing to connect with my future self for support. One of the most impactful moments for me is when I admit, “I need you right now.”
I feel a passionate desire to share this video with my audience - though it is worthy to ask why it feels so important. Likewise, clients have asked me in the past why it is important to explore uncomfortable emotions in sessions.
The short, though potentially unfulfilling answer, is that this is part of the full, authentic life; understanding & revelations & connection & development are rooted in the tears and confusion just as they exist in the celebration and excitement. Why this feels imperative to represent online, however, brings us full circle to the beginning of this discussion.
I feel passionate to share my authentic, tearful, fearful documentation because I don’t see this represented online elsewhere. It is not my desire to sadden or worry, nor is it my desire to always, or even equally portray this side of the full life. It is my desire, however, to represent the alignment journey with deep authenticity and honesty.
The authentic alignment journey is absolutely incredible. By stepping into my full, authentic life I have experienced connection to my life on a level unmatched otherwise. And. Between the bursts of awe and wonder and joyous dancing exist hard decisions. Sometimes, courage looks like a tearful question or uncertain sigh. Sometimes, alignment requires dancing with my fear a little longer than feels comfortable. Sometimes, living my authentic life feels harder than accepting an alternative, status quo life.
I hope my vulnerability serves as an inspiration for anyone in the midst of their own alignment journey; it is my hope this video serves as a reminder that you are not alone, and it is okay to be exactly as you are in the present moment. Furthermore, I hope this video serves as inspiration; this part of the alignment journey is not the entire journey. Although I am honestly tearful in this video, I will also be authentically elated in another.
Through my online platforms, I share with you my alignment journey completely, honestly, truthfully — so you may connect with my experience, feel inspired to live your own, and experience support along the way.
